Thursday, July 26, 2007

Amateur strip competition


OK, so it has been a while between posts. I am aware that my blog has lost a few rating points as a result of the tardy postings, so I have turned to late night television tactics and am reviving my blog with a post involving partial nudity.

As many of you aware, the Newtown hotel (located in Newtown) is holding an amateur strip comp on Thursday nights (see pic). For some strange reason...most likely being my strange enthusiasm for the event...I am the only one thus far who is contemplating entering the comp.

Thanks to all my friends who have nominated songs to strip to. I have inlcuded the list below so that you can help me decide.

href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2Ld4YXlyGk">

href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27-TM3q5-Cc">

href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMzoBkaFxh4">

href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTneO6UgRuM">

href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yoSoot7U74">

href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIM4DCn7AlE">

href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UObmcnQtzs">

href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nni0zzCbVag">

OK, so there have been more suggestions, but i'm going to max out my bandwidth for an entire month with all of these. Feel free to add comments about this.

Still trying to come up with a routine. Will take a while to practice :)

til next post.

Sayonara Sydney Siders

Monday, May 07, 2007

New post

I am sure many of you are wondering if I had forgotten about this blog completely. The answer is NO!
And I have not been lazy either. There have been so many totally awesome things to post that if I were to post, you would be blown away by there awesomeness and probably die. Hence my lack of posting has saved your life......you owe me!!!!!


MJore to follow, I just felt like posting something.

Also.....go the French president....right wing politics lives on!!!!!! Vive la France!!!!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Ode to the radioactive cow with a speech impediment


In fine 411 tradition, I have decided to list a plethora of jokes (considered lame by some, reveered by most). The topic of jokes revolves around but is not limited to radioactive cows with speech impediments. An example of which is Gregor the macedonian fresian shown below.

Feel free to add other jokes to the list as the need arises. FYI Q = Question, A = Answer, E = Explanation!!!!

1.
Q. What goes OO OO OO?
A. A cow with a speech impediment
E. A cow normally goes Moo Moo Moo, but with a speech impdiment the cow is unable to articulate the M sound.

2.
Q. What goes O O O?
A. A radioactive cow with a speech impediment
E. Follow explnation from Q1 to get to OO OO OO and since the cow is radioactive it has a hald life, so the answer is halved resulting in the super funny O O O quote.

3.
Q. How many radioactive cows does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. It depends if the lightbulb is radioactive and if so, on how many half lives the lightbulb has.
E. If the lightbulb is itself radioactive, in addition to the cow, a full answer cannot be given unless the half lives of both are know. This is because it is possible that the cow and/or the lightbulb will decay to beyond recognition before the bulb tranfer process is complete.

4.
Q. When is a radioactive cow with a speech impediment expected till live till?
A. Middle age
E. The speech impediment is unneccessary data. But since the cow is radioactive, it must have a half life. The word association between half-life and Middle age is the source of the humour in this joke.

5.
Q. Why was the radioactive cow upset?
A. It found out it only had a half life.
E. Most living organisms capable of thought processes are satisfied with a full life. however, only having half of this amount of life is the source of the cows dismay.

6.
Q. What does a dyslexic radioactive cow with a speech impediment say?
A. OO OO OO
E. Lets see if you can figure this one out for yourselves...

7.
Q. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many peppers could a radioactive cow with a speech impediment pick?
A. half an eck
E. A normal cow would still be able to pick a peck, but with a speech impediment could only pronounce the work 'eck' and due to its radioactive status, would thus only end up with half an eck.

8.
Q. What are the three favourite elements of a radioactive cow?
A. Carbon, Oxygen and Tungsten
E. The abbreviations for the above elements are C,O and W respectively. In this order they spell the word cow. Thus the cow woudl empathise with the bovine nature of this joke.

9.
Q. If forced to choose two favourite elements, which would the radioactive cow choose?
A. Cobalt and Tungsten
E. The abbreviation for Cobalt is Co, thus allowing the cow to still spell its common name.

10.
Q. What do you call a radioactive homosexual cow?
A. Cow-a-bugger
E. Self-explanatory

If these jokes have turned your place of work into a Fracas and you are no longer able to function due to raptuous laughter, please empathise with the occupants of my office for which this is but a sample of the jokes offered almost every day.

Finally, I would like to thank P-eye-P for her help in the above compilation of Jokes.